Confucianism, at its heart, is the ideal of taking the individual and the society to their highest potential. It parallels western notions of chivalry and civility. All have fallen into disfavor in modern culture.
During the social revolutions of the past, notions of decorum felt too restrictive. We questioned, rightly, everything society told us we must do. Now we have the opportunity to follow ideals of civility consciously rather than reflexively.
The Metal Element
We need the best of all our elements, but perhaps none so much as Metal at this moment in history. There is great beauty in cultivating our own Metal element. It is the part of us that chisels the raw, blunt rock into an exquisite statue.
When we look at the boorishness, anti-intellectualism, and plain meanness that we are devolving into, we have the choice, each of us, to act daily to create a better world. There are two ways we can start doing this now:
Cultivating Awe & Reverence
Perhaps the simplest way to shift our behavior is to create the habit of awe and reverence for the beauty around us. If we take a moment to hold reverence for a stately old tree, we will naturally begin to treat the environment around us with more respect. If we allow ourselves the vulnerability to sit in awe of the man or woman or child before us it will transform our relationships into greater harmony and mutual happiness.
To feel reverence = to really see someone or something
We hold reverence when we see the magnificence of the one who stands before us. It is what everything in existence craves; to be seen in truth.
The Golden Rule
This simple age-old rule has stood the test of time because it is so perfect. It guides us to practice empathy in our daily lives. If I were an elderly person standing on a crowded subway, how would I want someone to treat me?
If you already have a highly developed sense of empathy and perhaps need to be kinder to yourself, the corollary also holds: “Do unto yourself as you do unto others.”
A Balance
Civility does not mean having people run all over us. There are people who need boundaries and we can set them with finesse. Civility guides us to ask the questions “How can we structure society to increase the odds our children grow into good adults?” “How can we contain dangerous people so the rest of society is safe?” “How do we stop rewarding bad behavior in public places?”
Civility has an integral place in our daily and spiritual lives. It is time we honor the gift of the Metal Element within us.
